Tuesday. (Not Friday)

Today, I feel angry and somewhat helpless.

But. Work still needs to be done.

Hence, time to tool!

2011

So, I came back to this blog and realized that I had no posts in the year 2011. I wish I could say that that was the motivation behind writing this entry, but really, I'm punting doing maths (yes, maths. NOT math). Honestly, I think my life is good. A lot of kids are stressing about their college lives, coursework, social scene, work, etc. I'm not. Maybe it's because alcohol, drugs, substance abuse don't really appeal to me. Maybe it's because I'm not particularly into making new friends or going on a hookup spree at the moment. Actually, those things have never really appealed to me. I think I had a lot of emotional moments in 2010, but I am happy to report that I am relatively stable! I have just been spending my time punting classes and learning material that I actually have interest in. Sometimes, the going has been hard, but there's something so awesome in that moment where you dig deeper into some subject matter and it's like bam bam bam - the universe just becomes that much more freaking amazing! Often, I feel so stupid and small, but that always drives me to learn more, ask more questions, etc. so life is GOOD. and life has been KIND to me. I only hope that this will last.

Maria, Full of Grace (but not really)

Maria Jun,

You are simply.

Fantasmic

Fantabulous

Oh wait, I think i'm talking about myself.

Anyway,

This is a blag entry devoted to Maria.

BLAG

Often, I check this blag and I realize I haven't been taking much care of it. Well, what can I say? There's not much I want to throw out there at the moment. Not that this means that my life is boring. I personally find something quite fantastic about living and learning... sort of. Last week, I finally got around to reading Sunzi's Art of War and Machiavelli's Prince. Do I sound like a megalomaniac to you? If I do, you are a good judge of character (at least, in this case.). But my obsession with war, conquest, politics, strange as it may seem, are quite separate from my obsession with taking over the world. OR maybe not. I just get a kick from reading different methodologies (or rather philosophies?), perhaps strategies, behind war, who wages war, why wars are fought, if wars are truly inevitable, etc. While I would love to get in the arena one day, I'd like to just analyze the way people work rather than be part of the broiling masses. My interest lies not in interacting, but in dissecting for the sole purpose of investigation. Me ruling the world is a branch of my idealistic, "the world can be saved and I'm going to do it," whatever you call that, while my obsession with war is more based on understanding... gulp.... humans, like da Vinci ripping open cadavers.

So if at any time, I find myself wanting to blurt out a connection I've seen or something utterly amazing that I need to discuss, I'll write an entry. If not, well, don't check the blog. and stop complaining. geez.

LIFE

Lately, I'm been in this super stellar mood where I am ridiculously bitter, and then I become ridiculously angry and then I just feel nothing. I thought to blame it on my female anatomy, aka that time of the month, but apparently it's not that. Here are a list of some of my other symptoms:

1) two to three hours in bed before I fall asleep; I wake up an hour later.

2) increasingly sensitive to and irritated by subtle gestures that seem to be negative (e.g. when people agree with you while their eyes point to the side instead of looking at you.)

3) following 2, overanalyzing situations and seeing unfounded connections.

I typed this up and searched on wiki. I got, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder.

... And some symptoms for PTSD are:

difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger, and hypervigilance

ok. So clearly, (or maybe it's not clear to you), I don't have PTSD. I mean... psychological trauma? I don't think I've had any particularly intense experiences. Ok. that's a lie. I can recall a few that I won't divulge because. well. In all honesty, I'm not good with emotions. at. all.

Anyway, it's a bit unnerving that the symptoms match up so well. Then again, for a couple weeks, I did think I was bi-polar. which I now know that I'm not. Something about psychological disorders just resonates with me. Either that means the disorders are overblown, or I'm seriously fucked up. I always said I was fucked up. Now I think I'm starting to accept it.

People

I should really be doing my p-set, but today, I finally reached this stage of blinding hatred for one of my "close" friends.

I always tell people I have no expectations, so they should relax around me. I won't judge. And I won't. Because I don't believe in people. I don't have faith in people. People means the masses, the conglomeration and melding of personalities into a disgusting uniform blob. Sometimes, this conformity may be good, benign, or bad. It's predictable, and understandable. The idea can be irrational, but it can be comprehended.

Individuals, on the other hand, are a whole different story. I believe in an individual. If I see you as an individual person, it's because I can trust you to be rational, logical, and loyal to yourself, to the person you declared yourself to be. So I have enormous faith in the person. This does not mean that I trust that particular person or expect loyalty from them. I don't. I'm not that stupid. But I am stupid for a different reason. Once I trust an individual, I will never ever betray that person. Why should I choose trust someone? Because he gives me the opportunity to give him a chance. He gives me valid reason to take that step. This is not why I am stupid. In this world, anyone who only trusts himself is bound to fail. I am stupid because once a trusted individual betrays me, I should know never, ever to trust that individual again. But time and time again, I have allowed myself to be lulled into a sense of comfort and security around that exact same individual. And that is what is so stupid. Betrayal is bitter, and excruciating. And it makes me realize just how weak humans are. I have never thought myself to be a strong person. However, I am firm in my convictions. Unfortunately, it appears that this is not true for many individuals. In fact, the really stupid thing is, I should have no expectations for those individuals in the first place since they are just parts of masses as opposed to unique entities. I can only blame myself for having an untrained eye and for being so naive.

College III - Laundry Day

I've never done laundry in my life. I rarely do the dishes. I rarely cook. Actually I can't cook. I suppose I'm spoiled. Ok, so I'm spoiled.

but today, I learned how to do laundry.

It was a bit daunting.

but I managed.

Well, we'll see how the load turns out.

o.O

O.o

O.O

ok. I'm freaking out.

College II

How do you get over a hangover? Coffee and Aspirin? Suck it up and live through the pain?

I'll tell you the answer: Just get drunk.

Apparently hangovers are withdrawal symptoms from alcohol. I could be wrong. If I am, let me know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hangover.

So, why am I talking about hangovers?

Well, I am experiencing something similar to a hangover.

Over this week, I have consistently slept 3-4 hours (from 3:00AM~7:00AM) and I felt fine. Yesterday, since I had little motivation to actually do something, I decided to sleep at 12:00AM and wake up at my usual time of 7:00AM.

Today I woke up at 8:00AM, tired, disgruntled with a huge headache.

So how do you deal with the effects of sleep deprivation?

Answer: In the short term, just keep being sleep deprived. Apparently it causes the body to continually function under the stress of the fight or flight response (or at least, I assume so), which means, you will stay and feel awake. So don't let your body get that chance to relax. Keep it in perpetual fright. It works. Trust me.

So what about the long term effects? I mean, do you REALLY want to live to 80?

I don't know about you, but nursing homes just aren't my thing.

College

College. What can one say? Some people dive into it. Some people hold back. Some people go to frat parties their first week and come back trashed despite all the advertisements that the parties are "dry." And some people just really stay dry, and hang with a couple of new friends. Some people let themselves go and eat all the junk they couldn't at home. Some people refuse freshman 15. Some people are excited. Some people don't care. Some think college is awesome despite having been only six days. Others reserve judgement. But despite all the different opinions and despite all the different courses of actions that are chosen, they are all at college. And most of them are adults. And most of them don't act like it. All of them are children, young and untried, "living it up," so to speak.

Let's just hope that it stays that way. That the spirit to live, to try, to explore continues to survive into adulthood and through the middle ages until we finally die.

The greatest sadness is the act of failing, not in the pursuit of happiness, but in having the motivation to chase after it.

Y560

I have order my Ideapad!

The specs are pretty amazing. (4GB------> 8GB not that I'll need 8GB).

So I'm excited because everything seems amazing.

And I'm really nervous because the Y560 is notorious for its display problems. Hopefully, when I get the comp and it turns out crappy, I can either

1) Fix it.

2) Get a Full Refund.

=) Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Life is so Freaking Unfair!

Ok. So, I ordered my Thinkpad like... 5 days ago.

And today I find an Ideapad that's like...

amazing. Ok, the model is different but the hardware is like... SO MUCH BETTER and CHEAPER.

Specifications:

Operating System: Genuine Windows® 7 Home Premium 64-bit

Processor: Intel® Core™ i7-720QM Processor, 1.6 GHz (2.8 GHz with Turbo Boost Technology), 6MB L3 Cache

Graphics: ATI Mobility Radeon HD 5730 with 1GB dedicated memory

Memory: Configured with 4GB DDR3 1066MHz

Storage Drive: 500GB (5400 RPM) Serial ATA hard disk drive

Optical Disk Drive: Dual Layer DVD Recordable

Display: 15.6” widescreen LED Backlit WXGA VibrantView (1366x768)

Sound: 2x2w JBL® designed stereo speakers with Dolby® Home Theater™ Certification

Webcam: 1.3MP integrated web camera

Communications: 10/100/100 Ethernet, Intel® WiFi 1000 BGN

Expandability: ExpressCard/34™ slot, 6-in-1 Memory Card Reader (SD/ SD pro/ MS/ MS pro/ MMC / xD)

Ports: 2 USB 2.0, 1 USB 2.0/ESATA combo, 1 IEEE 1394, 1 VGA, 1 HDMI, 1 Microphone input jack, 1 Headphone out jack with SPDIF support

Battery: 6 cell Lithium Ion battery

Do you see that????? i7!!! and on top of that a pretty decent graphics card???? ~!@#$%^&*()_

Zune Zune Zune

For entering Freshman, College = Excitement. Freedom! Drugs! Alcohol! All that good stuff. At first, I wasn't particularly excited. I mean, college is college. And honestly, college is overrated. But, now that I am going to college, I find myself with the perfect excuse to jack up on all sorts of gizmos. So, I am very excited.

Some new treats I'm getting myself:

Lenovo T510: Intel Core i5, 4 GB Memory - and some other features. Not the highest specs, but still a nice computer and pretty damn good for the price and get this - it comes with a fingerprint reader. How sick is that?

Kindle 6.0" w/ Free 3G and Wi-fi: it weighs 8.7 ounces. To give you some perspective, the latest iPod 32g Touch is 4.05 ounces. Pretty freaking light.

Zune HD Video MP3 player: I've been debating about whether to get the Zune or the iPod Touch for the longest time and I've finally decided on the Zune. For one, it's less pricey. Two, HD???? The quality is just... amazing. Three, the Zune looks a lot sleeker to me.

I don't know, iPod fans. Is this just a bout of stupidity?
Am I being brainwashed by Microsoft?

College textbooks = a fortune.

Except not anymore!

At least, not for me.

I've managed to get a hold of multiple PDFs. And I must say, I am very excited. This will save me some $500 this semester which gives me ample funding to stock up on all my gadgets.

For instance, the Kindle + Zune will cost me $346.54. $404.93 if you include the Kindle's Leather Case and the Zune's Feather Case (ultra light and ultra strong polymer).

Now isn't that fantastic?

Now, what I can't understand, is why Apple is so freaking expensive!

Terribly overpriced! A standard laptop is like $1700! The question is, why?

Also, iPad w. Wi-fi and 3G = $629.00.

Really, What's the point of the iPad? I have my computer, my Zune, my Kindle. Ok, so why do I need an iPad? First of all, what exactly is the iPad? Honestly, it's not a computer. Some say it's a blown up iPod Touch. HM. Well, no thank you. Sorry hardcore Apple fans. What can I say? It just doesn't appeal to me.

Enough hating. If I remember correctly, this blog entry was written to commemorate a good day and good purchases.

So anyway, I am uber Excited!

Failure

I'm sorry.

I wasn't going to post until I read the entire Dodd-Frank Act (Actually, that was supposed to take ten days so failure regardless), but honestly, it's sort of difficult to chug through, um... 2000 pages. I got to 300 something. Doesn't that count for anything? I mean, halfassedness should count for something! I did spend some time reading that nonsense! Will I ever finish? I don't know, will Obama ever have a full head of hair? (Wait, does he have one?) I guess my point is, probably not, but hey! Rogaine exists, right? One day, just one day, maybe I'll decide it's worthwhile again to read it (hopefully that awaited time will not involve a major screw up at a firm) and finally, I will write a decent blog entry that is sort of intellectually stimulating. Until then, it's all blah for you people. Or... I could decide to write on something else.

Well, since I've been away for a while, I guess this'll be somewhat of an update.

What have I been doing?

I have been trying to be productive! And actually do stuff. The thing is, I only get motivation when I'm about to fall asleep, so I never really get anything done. Some cool things have happened to me though! Yesterday, for the first time in four years, I dreamed in math! Well, correction, I dreamed of math. I woke up thinking, of course it would only have two saddle points! Don't call that nerdiness because I can name about 100 people that I know who are 10 million times nerdier. The list starts with a certain Aristotle. All jokes aside (I use that phrase a lot. Have you noticed? I have. And if I've noticed, that means it's been overused... way overused... hm...), I've never been much of an academic. Maybe an intellectual, sort of, but never an academia type of person. The reason? I just get bored. or maybe the material just gets hard and I just don't get it, but I like to think I get bored and that's probably more accurate because I will put a book down after .5 seconds. So basically, I open the book and then I put it down. ... for good. Anyway, I've been trying to fix this whimsical nature of mine and so far, I have failed! At least, failed at going the extra mile. I have, however, progressed a few feet! Hey! At least that's some improvement! So instead of putting something down for good (that sort of sounds depressing. It could be substituted with "after I've killed something." HM...), I just sort of cast it aside in a strange hope that I will somehow pick it up again. So far I've "read" aka starting reading:

On the Origins of War and the Preservation of Peace (about 200 pages from this book. smack in the middle of WWI)

Man, the State and War (page 7 of the introduction)

The Prince (pg 75)

Principles of Mathematical Analysis (pg 73)

Infinite Jest (um... somewhere... it really is infinite...)

Differential Equations (lost track)

Economics and World History (smack in the middle of the great depression! so... pg. 10)

The Democratic Peace (Title)

Real and Complex Analysis (Table of Contents)

Chemical Principles (Title)

That's just my short summer reading list. As you can see, I am going somewhere. Hopefully, those titles will encourage me to move forward! Just wait till you see my list of "must-reads" aka "must know exists but who cares really?"

Ahahahaha. Can you imagine me in ten years???? what the HELL will I be doing? (other than being the richest person EVER) Hopefully, I won't be locked up in a mental institution.

Sometimes, I think I'm just a curious soul. Other times, I'm pretty sure I have ADD. or ADHD. It really depends on how many calories I consumed that day.

Sigh. I hate being young.

I have no excuse to NOT do anything (or maybe I have all the excuse?)

But, like a certain famous person said (no clue who and no quotations because it might or might not be verbatim): Everyone wants to live forever. No one wants to grow old.

But honestly, wouldn't it be awesome to be young and live forever? That way, you really do have an excuse not to do anything.

I mean, you can just say, it will happen eventually. Ever heard of the Monkey who can write the entire works of Shakespeare given a type writer and an infinite amount of time? That's right, there's no "I might succeed." There's just "I WILL succeed. I just don't know when."

Ok. Am I lame for reveling in such a thought? I'm sorry. That's what I do. Daydream, Rip my Hair out, Actually dream, sleep, be lazy, and sometimes, just sometimes, I sit down on my ass for ten minutes, open a book, and actually learn something and guess what, I never forget it. Ever. So you tell me. Am I really that much of a lazy ass?

The answer is: Yes. Of course, being lazy is just being lazy.

But I have a sneaking suspicion (except it's not really sneaking. It's jumping around naked and selling porn) that my ten minutes might just be worth someone else's half a day.

You might call this train of thought arrogance.

I call it Mad Skillz.

Oh, and count all the cliches I used in this post. I'll give you a lollipop.

The News is Never Mindlessly Entertaining

I know I said it would take me ten days to read the Dodd-Frank act and comment on it. I won't disappoint; it will take that long. So what is this post about? Can't you guess from the title?

The News is NEVER (EVER EVER EVER EVER) Mindlessly Entertaining.

So here I am, bored. Too lazy to skype people, too lazy to be productive (and the READ THAT 208 page summary WITH commentary), too lazy to eat, too lazy to do anything but sit and stare at the computer. There are no new episodes of CSI: Miami, NCIS:LA, CSI:NY... you get the picture. So, I decide to read some news. Catch up with the times. See what's going on in the world. I mean, it's important and I don't necessarily have to THINK. Thinking can come later. I just have to read and shove the information into my brain where hopefully it won't slip out of my nose or something.

I'm bored. I want to be entertained.

Entertained...

Mindlessly Entertained...

GIANT MONSOON OBLITERATES PAKISTAN KILLING 1,500 CIVILIANS: DEVASTATION WHILE PRESIDENT ASIF ZARDARI CHILLS IN FRANCE: POLITICAL UNREST: THE RISE OF RELIGIOUS GROUPS

RECESSION CONTINUES TO FUCK UP OUR LIVES: MAYBE THOUGHTLESSLY SPILLING MONEY ON RANDOM THINGS WASN'T GOING TO FIX THE DECLINING JOB MARKET: CAN THE DEMOCRATS FACE THIS CRIPPLING TRUTH?: THE RABBIT HOLE WAS A LOT DEEPER THAN WE ORIGINALLY THOUGHT: THAT IS, WE DIDN'T BREAK OUR LEGS, WE BROKE OUR NECKS!!!

BLOODY DEMONSTRATIONS IN INDIAN KASHMIR: WE PELT POLICE WITH STONES WHILE WE DRAG DEAD (YES DEAD!) BODIES AROUND SCREAMING OUR HEADS OFF! "FREEDOM!" "YOUR BLOOD WILL START A REVOLUTION!"

and I could go on and on, but whats the point?

I mean,

"It seems today

that all we see, is VIOLENCE in OUR NEWS DISPLAYED on TV

But where are those MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENTS

on which we used to rely??????

Lucky there's a family guy! (where?)

.................................................................."

~!@#$%^&*()_

High School

It's scary how High School haunts me. Some random mornings, I wake up feeling anxious. In my dream I haven't gone to my Spanish class for several weeks. I'm afraid I'll fail the class, not graduate, and it's senior spring. While I'm feeling panicked in my dazed state, I force myself to realize, first, that I didn't take Spanish Spring Term and, second, that I already graduated. Can these "episodes" be classified as anxiety attacks? Could I be feeling four years worth of anxiety and nervousness crashing down on me all at once? Or is this common? This subconscious denial that high school is OVER?

I don't know what it is, but it still freaks the shit out of me.

You know what else freaks the shit out of me?

2,319 pages of the Dodd-Frank Act on Wall street Reform.

It is literally the scariest piece of legislature that I have ever seen. Probably because I never really look at any such documents and if I need to know the answer, I'll wiki it.

Try wiki-ing this!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodd–Frank_Wall_Street_Reform_and_Consumer_Protection_Act

Were you expecting to find a concise, 3 line... (oh fine.) I mean, 2-3 paragraph summary?

If Yes, join the club of outrageous optimists and we can have tea sometime.

If No, well, aren't you jaded? I'm kidding. You're logical, awesome really. Keep at it. Being Boring that is. I'm kidding about that as well. And I am NOT bitter.

So, of course I have the option of reading this wiki article.

Not bad eh? compared to 2319 pages?

but before I started devouring the text, I used my brain a little. Oooohhhh isn't that scary? Yeah yeah yeah, whatever.

Why bother reading something that's probs 25-30 pages of some pretty interesting (boring) stuff that's only going to give me an overview when I can read a concise 130 page summary by none other than the trusted Deutsche Bank or the 208 page summary with commentary by... I forget? I mean, if you're going to brave the shit, might as well get a full smack in the face, right?

So yeah,

now you know what the next post is going to be all about.

So, if you get bored by this kind of stuff.

I'm giving you fair warning.

see ya,

in like,

10 days. =)

Bach

People say you know when you are beginning to be fluent in another language when you speak it in your dreams.

Yesterday, I spoke in Music. I woke up today, rushed to my computer, found the piece I had been listening to, and then I clicked here and there, listening to Mozart, Brahms, and then... I clicked on Bach.

And it was sublime. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

And I never felt so inferior in my life.

Bach is famous for counterpoint. If you don't know what that is, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counterpoint.

So, Bach somehow composes this fugue so that there are four (or five, or more!!!! who knows? I only heard four) distinct voices with distinct melodies that makes sense harmonically. If that isn't sick enough, try playing the fugue backwards. It STILL makes sense in terms of chord progression and harmony.

How do you do that?

How do you think of that?

How does that come to your head?

How do you put that kind of thing together?

Bach says: "I worked hard. Anyone who works as hard as I did can achieve the same results."

Does this sound hopeful? Motivational?

Who does Bach think he's fucking kidding?

Look, I don't doubt that if I do cultivate my talents, I will accomplish something.

But,

I feel like I lack the talent to do as much as Bach.

But then again,

Bach also said: "It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself."

maybe that's really all it takes.

Hard work towards touching the right key at the right time.

and one last quote from Bach, ze master of counterpoint: "Bring me a bowl of coffee before I turn into a goat."

Happiness

You know when you suddenly get depressed? It's like that... except I'm suddenly happy! For some reason, I just feel so bubbly and excited and ready to face the world!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Tis a wonderful feeling!

It's like that song by OneRepublic:

"When you're happy like a fool, let it take it over!"

You ready for me world?

Cuz ready or not! Here I come! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

There Are So Many God Damn People In This World

I love traveling. I really do. Why? Because I love to experience the thrill of being born again to a new place, a new environment, a new world with different cultures, foods, and climate. I relish the journey of getting to that place. A new development is happening. I fantasize about the trips I will embark on, the sites I will see, and the music I will hear; the artwork, the history, and the mass of people I don't know, will never know, and will never see again. I love traveling. It gives me the amazing opportunity to step back from my "busy," mundane, routine, machine life style and offers me a chance to live. That's why I'm in Korea. That's why I flew halfway around the world, lost 13 hours, dragged my giant ass suitcases from the airport, and embraced the wretched Korean humidity. Oops. My mistake.

I hate Facebook. Correction: I hate it when it ruins my life. By life, I mean current state of mind/mood. Most of the time, I waste hours creeping about, doing some "detective" work (creeping) and finding out random shit about people (oh she's in Europe. So and so are planning to meet up next weekend). The beauty of all this random shit is that it has nothing to do with me. I can know the lives of other plebians and not worry about the effects those lives will have on mine. It's like reading Harry Potter or Twilight or some other trashy, shallow stuff that's mildly entertaining and requires little effort and thought.

This is when I hate Facebook: Why are so many of my "friends" in KOREA? GOD DAMN IT!

By that, I'm not talking about the friends from high school that were international students. I mean, this is their home. I'm glad they're here. I came knowing they would be here. And I'll probably meet up with them some time when I get off my lazy ass. I know some people who are coming to this country. I'm glad they're coming. I know them, quite well. I might hang out with them. I'm excited to: have some meaningless chitchat, get fat on ice cream, watch a movie, laugh: basically, fun fun fun.

What I am not happy about: All these random people that I knew from middle school (I mean, middle school), and by middle I'm talking about the collective people I knew when I was a little snotnosed squirt in 6th, 7th, 8th grade whether through school, or private lessons, or camp -they're all here. And it honestly freaks the shit out of me. (Also tells me a lot about how diverse my friend pool was back then.) It terrifies me. What if I meet them in a museum and have to say hi and act like I'm all happy and shit to see them? What if I see them on the street? It's pretty likely. I mean, they're breathing all my fucking air. I hate it. What Happened to my God Damn Right to Invisibility?

It's times like these where I really fucking hate the fact that:

"it's a small world after all."

You Don't Get to 500 Million Friends without Making a Few Enemies

Hell, I don't even have 40 friends and I have enemies (maybe not?). Well this epic film is bringing to light creation, betrayal, dedication and "idea" to theaters some day. Hopefully not today, or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... whatever. you get my point.

So here's what bugs me about this documentary-ish thing (other than the fact that it's featuring justin timberlake), this epic story of how a genius stuck in Harvard creates this social networking site which quickly spreads throughout the Harvard community and infects the rest of us like an unstoppable plague and then DUN DUN DUN, right when Mark's about to make the big bucks as a BILLIONAIRE ("i wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad..."), he gets betrayed, faces court charges but in the end, he prevails and becomes freaking rich and successful!: it's actually pointless. I mean, yes, every success story does have an unnecessary amount of drama to it, but that's not what gets me. What pisses me off is the fact that all this crap starts with some random genius dude who gets this genius idea and shi bang bang bang. GREATNESS! it's like. I'm pretty sure that's not how it happened. so they throw in BETRAYAL! ... and then it ends with PERSEVERENCE AND GREATNESS! so what we get stuck with is. GENIUS! GREATNESS! BETRAYAL! PERSEVERENCE! GREATNESS! ... well. thanks? When I get my big breakthrough smoking pot, I'll know what to expect. I'm not a fan of Mark Zuckerberg (really I'm not) and I sort of think he's ... a bit of a douche (but this is from the one encounter I actually had with him) but I'm not going to "contain" his accomplishments (i mean, if this blog was as widespread as fb, I'd be the one with the big bucks, the books, the movies, etc.) in some little box that plebians can understand. Which is exactly what these kinds of films DO. I haven't watched it, so I don't know if I'm being unnecessarily biased, but the trailer (yes, I even gave it the chance to prove its worth to me) was... terrible? really? GENIUS! BETRAYAL! = = . Someone kill me? seriously?

I don't know if people get inspired by this shit, but personally, I feel like it just trivializes the achievement. wtf is GENIUS anyway?

I don't buy it. Do you?

Dear Paragraph...

Dear My Lovely (Not-so Lovely) Paragraph,

How you smirk at me in your wretched, pitiful delusions of having structure. The gaping holes you flash as you yawn a smile through my thoughts, puncturing the bulging arteries of beautiful, beautiful words, assaulting the mind, slaughtering the soul- how they kill me! Your white claws rake through quaint phrases, unrelenting declarations, silent pleas - yes, you destroy them all! You degenerate fool, stuffed with your lack of understanding of the "delicate power of... [words]... that creep through the human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses..." Oh pitiful one, your existence the very bane of literature, foul fetter, I deny you! I shall always deny you! My denial will prevail till this brainwashed world sends an F to my doorstep! I stand firm against the tides of conformity - the shitty standards set by you, calamity, apocalypse, DEATH of consciousness! I DENY YOU!

Love,

Farrah