LIFE

Lately, I'm been in this super stellar mood where I am ridiculously bitter, and then I become ridiculously angry and then I just feel nothing. I thought to blame it on my female anatomy, aka that time of the month, but apparently it's not that. Here are a list of some of my other symptoms:

1) two to three hours in bed before I fall asleep; I wake up an hour later.

2) increasingly sensitive to and irritated by subtle gestures that seem to be negative (e.g. when people agree with you while their eyes point to the side instead of looking at you.)

3) following 2, overanalyzing situations and seeing unfounded connections.

I typed this up and searched on wiki. I got, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder.

... And some symptoms for PTSD are:

difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger, and hypervigilance

ok. So clearly, (or maybe it's not clear to you), I don't have PTSD. I mean... psychological trauma? I don't think I've had any particularly intense experiences. Ok. that's a lie. I can recall a few that I won't divulge because. well. In all honesty, I'm not good with emotions. at. all.

Anyway, it's a bit unnerving that the symptoms match up so well. Then again, for a couple weeks, I did think I was bi-polar. which I now know that I'm not. Something about psychological disorders just resonates with me. Either that means the disorders are overblown, or I'm seriously fucked up. I always said I was fucked up. Now I think I'm starting to accept it.