Failure

Ok. I can't cook! I can't preheat the oven! I'm sorry! O_O SAVE ME? SOMEONE?

Yearbook from... 3 years ago.

Ahahahahaha.

People never change. This is truth.

Or not? I don't know. So I found this yearbook that I bought at the end of freshman year (prep year for prep school kids) of high school. Funny thing is, all the comments in the 2007 yearbook are almost identical to that in my 2010 yearbook. Which probs means, I'm like the same person. So much for growing up. teehee.

Also, sometimes it sucks to be Male. Not often, but SOMETIMES, THE WORLD IS UNFAIR. BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/angler

cheers,

me.

Jose Saramago Dies

Who the hell is Jose Saramago, says the average person?

and I have no right to judge.

I would have been average too, had I not been forced to read his book, The Cave. That statement is false. I'm probably average either way. Anyway, I didn't particularly enjoy reading it. In fact, I never did read the full book, but there's something about death that just compels one to look again, to read again, to find meaning in someone's work -- What was he trying to say? What was the message he left for us all? Did he ever find anything beautiful in this world?

I haven't gotten to rereading the book, but from what I remember, it was about what was real and what was not. What was artificial, the need to conform, the need to be original and the burning desire to live as one sees fit, a struggle to preserve one's identity, and a fight to exist.

Now I know all that seems pretty wishy washy and I admit, I probably would have been able to give a more concrete analysis had I actually read the book thoroughly, but honestly, I think it's quite boring to have someone else place structure on something that you should probably figure out yourself. Of course, I haven't exactly given you a good enough reason (or shall I call it advertisement) for you to go, get the book, and start to read, but, I assure you, you will not be disappointed... and if you are disappointed, well, what can I say? Suck it up, buster. Life is full of disappointments and that's a cliche that will never EVER go away.

So what's the point of me mentioning this author other than the fact that he was a good writer and had a message for the world? Well, I guess what I want to discuss, and what I've been struggling with for a while, is the idea of mediocrity.

How does one define mediocrity?

Well, dictionary.com defines it as:

–noun, plural -ties.

1.

the state or quality of being mediocre.

2.

mediocre ability or accomplishment.

3.

a mediocre person.

HM... it seems the better option is to type in MEDIOCRE:

–adjective

1.

of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate.

2.

rather poor or inferior.

And. Let's not forget our best friend, wikipedia: And we get. the mediocrity principle. which is really interesting, so I'll leave the link, but not really related to this post: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mediocrity_principle

So, according to dictionary.com, something mediocre is something average but barely so. Well, the term used is adequate and since we all know that the average person is barely adequate, I guess it's a false statement to say that something mediocre is barely average. But really, the previous statement is faulty as well and since it would probably take a while to do anything with the vague definition given, let's just skip all this (I know, I'm not particularly in the mood to do anything but rant so forgive the lack of even the small bit of intelligence I think I usually have) and just go by gut instinct. Being mediocre is, in short, being invisible.

Regardless of innate talent, hard work, perseverance, or one's personal values on life, mediocrity is the state of not being known. I'm not saying one has to be super famous and in the spotlight all the time, because as an intelligent, above average person like you might argue, many in the spotlight are mediocre. But, I'm trying to explore a side of mediocrity that people rarely try to define because it's scary. No one wants to be mediocre. So, what do I mean by being invisible? By that, I mean the inability to use one's talents to change the world. Does that sound cliche? I assure you its not, because the truth of the matter is, most people don't have the talent to change the world much less the ability to use those talents. Here already, are two sides of being average and boring and dull. 1) you are just born that way. 2) you had some potential but due to some circumstances, probably your own inner weaknesses, you are unable to manifest those talents.

In the first case, one has no use except to be a construction worker. That is, in essence, manual labor for another that is talented or to act as the weaker counterpart in a comparison that glorifies the other, the talented individual. The second is the sad act of neglecting oneself and allowing one's brains to literally turn into mush.

Now the first case, what can you do about being born less talented? Not much. Work hard and you will accomplish something, at least. You will be a good worker, have a better life, be a good parent, etc. But what does it mean to be more than that, to rise out of mediocrity into a different plane in which one is free from the average banter and can actually do something? That is left for the few talented individuals around the world.

Now, I feel like a lot of people assume that they are average. And for most of them, that is true. However, there are a lot more talented people in this world than the few that have become visible. Why is that? Why does a potentially amazing person just shrivel up and die and become part of the masses, a construction worker, so to speak?

I suppose, at first, it doesn't sound too logical (or maybe it does?). If you have gold, why bury it? Why not spend it? or Invest it? Why hide it away and act poor?

I don't think anyone truly knows what they're capable of until they reach for their limits. That is, they try. They work hard. This is true for anyone. Without hard work, no matter how endowed a person is, he is bound to fail. So why does the potential world changer choose to fail? Well, it's because of the potential. Here again, are already two sides to this argument.

1) The individual realizes he has more potential than his peers and fails to cultivate his talents as a result of laziness and arrogance. That is, he believes he will always be better than the people around him. And so, he fails. I was watching a Korean drama and this proverb came up: Though some are born knowing it, others know by learning it and still others struggle to learn it, the knowledge obtained is the same. The average man who works hard will be able to obtain a large amount knowledge even without talents, perhaps, slower than the talented individual who tries, but up to a certain point, he can learn. Here in, the lazy, endowed one fails, because he fails to build the fundamentals that all people, regardless of talent, can learn. Thus, he becomes less that mediocre. Can he dig himself out of this mediocrity? Yes, he can. Does he? In most cases, no. He has lost the time to build a solid work ethic and as an adult, lacks the will power to change his habits. Or in the saddest of cases, his brain has rotted away. That is, he has now truly become average. In the rare case that the individual does dig himself out of the pit, he will perhaps become greater than even the originally hard working individuals around him, because he knows the true value of hard work and the rampant struggle out of the mediocrity. This, however, rarely happens.

2) The individual is afraid of being mediocre, so he doesn't try. Now, that doesn't seem to make sense for most people. If someone is talented, then why wouldn't he try? Why would he choose to be mediocre if he's afraid of being mediocre? Well, the reason is simple enough. Though a lot of people start out above average, the truth of the matter is, not all of them are really... talented. They are just normal people who are more efficient construction workers, so to speak. So, some of the world changers are lost because they never really want to know what their limits are. They are afraid to try and then realize that they are just as mediocre as their average neighbor. For them, being mediocre and having potential is better than trying to realize that potential and finding that that potential wasn't that great. Having potential and not utilizing it is a means for them to ward off their own inner doubts of mediocrity. That is, they often think, "I might not have accomplished A like Person A, but if I had tried, I would have accomplished it and more, but since I'm lazy, I couldn't accomplish it." because they don't want to face, "I can't accomplish A like Person A because I am less talented than Person A."

3) The talented individual wants to live a quiet life, away from visibility. A famous quote by Jack Kerouac goes like this: "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (And if you don't know famous American author and poet Jack Kerouac, here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Kerouac). The fact of the matter is, the visible individual is a lonely one. Even his close friends, his construction workers, they are bound to envy him. Envy leads to fear. And if I may quote my good friend Yoda, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering" So this act of rising out of mediocrity not only is a matter of talent or of hard work but of deep courage and audacity.

And I could go on and on, but the truth of the matter is, I doubt anyone will actually read all of this and if someone does take the time, I hope he or she will offer his or her own thoughts to this rant of mine.

Until the next time I post,

bye bye.

FUN FUN FUN~ in CALIFORNIA

WOW, so I know California isn't like, um, let's say Ghana or the Czech Republic, but just the feeling of being away from home makes me happy. A friend of mine told me yesterday that home made him feel lazy and nihilistic. Well, I don't know about the nihilistic part, but definitely, I had been getting those lazy vibes, so it's great to be out here in California where the objective IS to have fun. I like that. While some may argue that having fun might not be much different from being lazy, there is a fundamental difference in activity level, perhaps not physically, but definitely mentally. That is, there is a certain direction to the moment, whether that's hanging out at the beach, going to an intense Tae Bo session or watching fireworks at Disneyland (which was pretty fantastic! It made me feel all gooey and happy inside).

Speaking of Disneyland, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disneyland), all I can say is WOW. Last time I was there was 2 and a half years ago and I don't recall it being this much fun. That's probably because when I went last time, there wasn't much time and there were so many freaking people at the park, also, our tickets only let us choose between Disneyland and California rather than letting us switch back and forth. Yesterday, however, it was a different story. Sure, the lines were still long and we had to get fastpasses and everything, but just the idea that there were no time restraints. And if there was a sense of boredom or tiredness from the long waits and the just-for-kids-really rides at the park, the fireworks and the fantasmick show made the whole day worth it. If Disney is stingy with the ride length, the food, and the souvenirs, it sure isn't with the evening shows.There was this cool thing where they projected some clips from old Disney movies, Fantasia, Sleeping Beauty, etc. onto a spray of water. Pretty cool, if I may say so myself. =) So a great day at Disney. I would go again just for the shows, but my legs are tired from taebo and from all that walking. =)

So today, is rest time and then more Tae bo. Annnnnnnd Tomorrow is VEGAS.

You Can Never Be Sick When You Want to Be: and if you want to be sick, karma is bound to bite a large chunk out of your ass.

I'll admit, I wasn't the best student in high school. Let's clarify that statement. I was probably one of the worst students. Ok, maybe I'm overestimating myself but, I was a pretty terrible student. I hated going to class. Now, most people do, but at least they go. I didn't, not if I could get away with it. The best way to get out of class is well, being sick. You know how the swine flu was going around last fall? Everyone didn't want to get it, except, well, me. Some people purelled their hands like crazy, others incessantly washed their hands and faces, and others just wore face masks. I didn't use hand sanitizer. I washed my hands, maybe like, 3 times a day and I never became a parody of batman. So, I should get sick, right? False. I didn't get sick. Who did? All the people who wanted to stay healthy, go to class, be a good person. And honestly, when you think about it, that's so freaking unfair - more unfair than the world should be - it just defies all probability. The world is purposely fucking with us all. It gives you the opposite of what you wish for and it doesn't help that you lie to try to trick it into giving you what you want. So, now I'm home, resting, relaxing, ready to finally have fun, travel, go to California, Seoul, Shanghai, Osaka, Bangkok - places (oh the places you'll go!), I get sick and not with some lousy common cold (it probably is the lousy common cold) but this head crunching, nose congesting, lymph node swelling bastard that has, as of 11:34 P.M. June 10, 2010, incapacitated me beyond all necessary bounds. Wow, Life Freaking Sucks. You know how I said shittiness is a gift sometimes? Well, it certainly isn't one today. It might have been a couple of weeks ago, but then again, it wouldn't have been so shitty. Damn, I can't even get sick when I want to, and now that I don't want to, my request comes along... super delayed. WTF. I would say that coined phrase a lot of people like (probably why its coined in the first place), FML, but really, I don't want anyone to fuck my life, because that would really piss me off and quite honestly, would kill me at the moment. Sigh. So now that you know I'm sick and I hate it and I'm miserable (I think I'm pretty miserable all the time anyway), you'll have to forgive me for the lack of intelligent, hell, even coherent thought (not that I usually have any (actually, this post is actually focused instead of all over the place)). Now I'm going to continue resting and being a sloth. though knowing my luck, it won't do me any good.

Farewell my sexy reader(s),

Until I feel better,

me.

Gone

When it's time, not only to leave a place, perhaps a home, but to leave a time behind you, whether childhood, adolescence, there is a feeling of inexpressible love and sorrow. I will never be the same again. I will never have the same freedom or brashness because I have grown. And that, is the beauty of the last moments before the transition- those last minutes that can't even be savored because of the emotional burden that is suddenly imposed on the individual. Those moments will be treasured, however, because one tries so hard to not forget, to cling even a little bit to the past, to the known, to home. What does one do when stripped of a home? When stripped of the small respite found? How does one begin again? How does one see the point in beginning again? In another four years, another home will be stripped and another respite broken. How does one bring oneself to stand up and move on?

I wrote a letter to my 18 year old self when I was fourteen. After reading it four years later, I realize that the questions written in it will always remain: "Who are you? What have I become? Will you remember me, your 14 year old self?"

Well, 22 year old self

26 year old self

30 year old self

40 year old self

80 year old self

who are you? What will I become? will you remember me, your 18 year old self? I sure hope so, because I don't want to forget - both the good and the bad. It's been a wonderful four years. Four years of finding myself, of growing, of thinking, of rebelling, of freedom, of breathing, of singing. of dying, of rebirth, of love, of like, of friendship, of rivalry, of music, and of living. Just living. Being. Existing. It's all gone in a moment, but it is always present. So, my 14-year-old self from back in 2006, I remember. I love you. I've become someone you can be proud of- maybe different from what you thought, vastly different, but I've become someone wiser, more appreciative of the beauty around me, so full with the vividness of the current time- so be proud. and my 40 year-old self, here I come. Please don't have midlife crisis waiting for me.

How do we move on? We just do, because we know that there is something potentially better, more beautiful as we move forward. So, proud class of 2010, we're off to a new world.

Mental Math

When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would not write on any nerdy subjects because I figured, if you were really interested, instead of reading my hopelessly insufficient explanations, you'd wiki it. Or... maybe even go further from wiki-ing it (yes, i have turned wiki into a verb) and maybe go and get a book. But, today I might have to break that promise. I'll leave it up to... well... potentially the one person reading this blog to decide whether the post is nerdy enough, that is- academically intriguing enough to be considered nerdy.(and because I always do this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerd).

So I borrowed this book called Secrets of Mental Math from a good friend (at least I think we're good friends. Who really knows what goes on on the other side of things?), who, quite frankly, is a nerd. Oooooooohh! aaaaaaaaahhhhh! Anyway, I'm not much of a math, science-y person. Well, honestly, I'm not much of a humanities/artsy type either nor am I into econ, politics, whatever. I guess I just hate academics and am just too lazy to find out what I actually like. Going back to the point, I don't particularly like learning, well anything. Anything includes math. Now, let me tell you how bad I am at math. I can't add. I can't multiply. I once said 6 x 8 was 42. It kind of freaks me out that so many people ask me for math help. I'm basically on par with... um... a 6-year-old. So this book, Secrets of Mental Math, bound to be boring for someone like me, right? False! It's actually really interesting and totally NOT about Fermat's last theorem but about how to make everyday calculations like tax and tip easy to do in... well... your head. And the thing that freaks me out even more is that most of the strategies used to "be a genius and show off your math skills" are actually strategies that I use everyday to make my life easier! The only thing is, the authors, Arthur Benjamin and Michael Shermer, assume that the reader can do basic arithmetic. Well, they should publish a book called, how to make adding single digits more easily or multiplication tables for dummies that stick. I don't know. Despite my severe learning impairment, however, I was able to 1) learn a couple awesome tricks 2) find someone out there who breaks down math problems like I do and 3) amaze a couple friends... except for one friend, who didn't read the book, who got the answer faster than I did.... and by a couple seconds. Now a couple seconds might sound trivial to you, but... she sort of said the answer in a split second while I, straggling along, confirmed the answer 6 seconds later. Yeah, big delay, so much for impressing someone.

So, in order to impress, I'll have to sort of plagiarize the book, but only a couple tricks. I mean, the true beauty in this stuff is to share the magic or as Professor Benjamin says, "mathemagics."

What's 48 x 11?

I'll give you five seconds!

Was that too hard? (the answer is 528)

How about this one?

26 x 11

Quick! Two seconds!

Times up! Did you get it? (286)

So, how do you do these really quickly?

Well, the way I do it is

e.g. 89 x 11

89 x 10 + 89 = 979

But! Benjamin suggests this:

Condition: One of the two numbers being multiplied is 11

1) add the digits of the not-11 number

2) stick it in between the digits

3) if the sum of the digits is greater than 9, add 1 to the largest place and stick the (sum - 10) in the middle.

E.g. 23 x 11

2 + 3 = 5

Answer: 253

Ex. 2) 69 x 11

6 + 9 = 15

Answer: 759

And so on. Can this work for numbers greater than 2 digits multiplied by 11? Yes! Will I tell you? Well, I think any more than this would be considered plagiarism, so check out the book yourselves! http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Mental-Math-Mathemagicians-Calculation/dp/0307338401.

I'm sure you'd greatly improve basic math skills! Be sure to know how to add/multiply single digits well! =)

No deep message to this blog message. =)

See ya later!

hehe