Gone

When it's time, not only to leave a place, perhaps a home, but to leave a time behind you, whether childhood, adolescence, there is a feeling of inexpressible love and sorrow. I will never be the same again. I will never have the same freedom or brashness because I have grown. And that, is the beauty of the last moments before the transition- those last minutes that can't even be savored because of the emotional burden that is suddenly imposed on the individual. Those moments will be treasured, however, because one tries so hard to not forget, to cling even a little bit to the past, to the known, to home. What does one do when stripped of a home? When stripped of the small respite found? How does one begin again? How does one see the point in beginning again? In another four years, another home will be stripped and another respite broken. How does one bring oneself to stand up and move on?

I wrote a letter to my 18 year old self when I was fourteen. After reading it four years later, I realize that the questions written in it will always remain: "Who are you? What have I become? Will you remember me, your 14 year old self?"

Well, 22 year old self

26 year old self

30 year old self

40 year old self

80 year old self

who are you? What will I become? will you remember me, your 18 year old self? I sure hope so, because I don't want to forget - both the good and the bad. It's been a wonderful four years. Four years of finding myself, of growing, of thinking, of rebelling, of freedom, of breathing, of singing. of dying, of rebirth, of love, of like, of friendship, of rivalry, of music, and of living. Just living. Being. Existing. It's all gone in a moment, but it is always present. So, my 14-year-old self from back in 2006, I remember. I love you. I've become someone you can be proud of- maybe different from what you thought, vastly different, but I've become someone wiser, more appreciative of the beauty around me, so full with the vividness of the current time- so be proud. and my 40 year-old self, here I come. Please don't have midlife crisis waiting for me.

How do we move on? We just do, because we know that there is something potentially better, more beautiful as we move forward. So, proud class of 2010, we're off to a new world.