The Day After

This was on my bottle of Honest Tea: "I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things I have not." -Lucille Ball

So most people know who Lucille Ball is. Maybe that's an assumption. I Love Lucy anyone? Anyway, according to Wikipedia (yes yes, the source of all truth), she died of a dissecting aortic aneurysm. Know what that is? I do. At least, I do now. Here's the link if you're really curious. Not that you would be, but if you want to know what I'm talking about, then:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissecting_aortic_aneurysm

If you're not curious and would like everything spelled out for you, then my insufficient definition (or attempt at summarizing more like) will have to suffice. Basically, it's when you have a tear in your artery and the blood starts leaking into the walls of the artery. If the influx of blood is so bad that your artery actually ruptures, well, you're screwed. If you're not convinced, then take a pin and stick it into a carotid artery. Maybe yours or someone else's. Actually, don't do that. It's not something you want to try at home. Just a side note, do you even know what a carotid artery is? If not, look it up. If you do know, good for you. Tell me what it is? I'm kidding. I actually look things up, on Wikipedia anyways, which is a perfectly legitimate source. I mean, despite what people say about wrong information and what not, who the hell is going to edit a page on dissecting aortic aneurysm unless he actually knows what it is? I don't know. Maybe I have too much faith in humanity, but I'd like to think that generally, people don't want to be laughed at. But really, enough defending Wikipedia. (I can sort of see why blogging is fun. Rambling and ranting and writing useless crap - I'm definitely seeing the appeal.)

Back to Lucille Ball. Or rather her quote.

Actually, let's deviate a little here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h4f77T-LoM

So we have this singer, Florence Foster Jenkins. I'm not quite sure she has the qualifications to be called a singer, but for the sake of communication, we'll call her a singer.

She has the really famous quote, something she said after she got... some... multiple... reviews by music critics about her performance of Mozart's (forgive my rudeness Wolfgang) Queen of the Night: "Some people said I couldn't sing, but no one could say I didn't sing."

Well, let me say this now, I can damn well say she didn't sing because she couldn't sing. I know that sounds stupid because whoever's reading this (I'll just use the second person), so you, you think I'm just being an ass and though I fully understand (or maybe I don't (according to you)) what she means, I'm purposely misinterpreting it.

In some sense, yes. That is the truth, but let me defend myself. In fact, even if you don't let me, I will. Did you catch the irony of the previous sentence? No? Well, then you missed the point entirely, but I'll give you another chance. You can refuse. Get it now? I'm guessing you probably don't. If you do, I apologize for the assumption.

So, let's take apart this quote.

"Some people said I couldn't sing, but no one can say I didn't."

according to dictionary.com, 'could' is an auxiliary verb that expresses possibility. e.g. I could stop writing this blog.

'Could' expresses conditional possibility. e.g. If I wrote in coherent sentences, I could get my meaning across to you.

So, "some people said I couldn't sing."

- some people said that I had no possibility of singing.

That is, she cannot, as a human being, sing. Whatever comes out of her mouth is not singing.

"but no one can say I didn't sing."

In the latter half of the sentence, 'did' serves as an auxiliary verb. Correct me if I'm wrong. Once again, according to dictionary.com, 'did' means to 'to perform, to accomplish, to finish, to complete' and so on.

"but no one can say I didn't sing"

Well, if you do not have the possibility/capability of singing, then you cannot possibly accomplish the feat. Thus, I can say she didn't sing. Of course, even if my statement was false, I could say it anyway, but that's not the point.

What is the point? Why am I being so technical when I know what she means to say. That is, though she was not appreciated and that, in itself was perfectly fine, no one can deny her courage and willingness to put herself out there in public to do what she loves. I mean, there are nuances in the English language that aren't perfectly square with textbook definitions. That's why we have idioms, right? Or not. You're free to dispute anything I say. I welcome it, in fact.

The point is, there are things we can and cannot do. Lucille Ball's quote said that it better regretting having done something than it is for not doing something. But I think that assumes that you have an option at the crossroads. I'm not getting into a free will argument. I'm not saying something like, if cause and effect exist, then there can be no free will or anything remotely like it. Though, that might be an interesting topic to blog about. What I'm trying to say is that people make decisions based on the environment around them. By environment, I'm talking about everything, your life issues, family, mood, etc. So in retrospect, yes, one can say I should have done something or I wish I had gone somewhere, but Lucille Ball's statement gives me the sense that not doing anything is passive. I actually think it's very active. Can you really say that in the situation, in the circumstances of a particular moment, you really had the option/possibility of carrying out an action? Let's go back to Jenkins; I say she had no capability of singing. Did she act on her passions? Yes. Did she sing? Actually sing? That's debatable. In a similar manner, can an individual really gripe about what he "did not do." Was there really a possibility for achieving a certain action? That being said, regret is just a human emotion imposed by humans on a series of events. Well, generally, emotions and thoughts and theses are, but I'm asking, is regret necessary at all? In retrospect, many things become clear, but in the now, everything is very muddled. So why even bother wasting your energy regretting? Lucille Ball says, "I would rather regret..." That is, if she were to regret, not that she did regret anything but if she were to, she would rather regret having done something. But I say, why even think about that comparison? Why think about that option when it really shouldn't be necessary to think about it? That is, instead of thinking of retracting what you have done, whether thats not doing a certain thing or by smoking or something, why not think of what you can do and how those moments have created a basis for you to have more possibilities and capabilities?

Well,

That's it for the day.